Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Our sweet Little Boy, our baby, our love....

As I waited for your “great escape”, I am having a great fight with Mr. Cold and Mrs. Cough who just love each other, I can’t seem to break them apart and would rather stay in other’s arms, oh well, I hope they leave me alone soon and hibernate somewhere else.

Anyway, as I listen and feel you movement, oh, I know everybody would not really agree with me, “How can you hear baby’s movement inside you?” I know they would tell me that but yes, I think I am hearing you pretty clearly. As if there is a flutter of bubbles inside me everytime you do your best somersault and did some great kick, it’s like when you see a fish moves wildly inside an aquarium tank and bubble flowed up with his movement and then those bubbles burst when they surfaced. Just like that!

I wasn’t complaining so much now with you kicking, tumbling or even doing some cartwheel or somersaults unlike before, I am really getting used to feel each of your movement especially now that it’s almost time for you to get out of there, I will be missing you’re stay inside mommy’s tummy but you’re almost ready my love, you’re just waiting for the final touch and the you’ll be out in there in a flash. Oh, I hope it will be in a flash, coz I don’t want them to take you out in there much longer. I told everyone I wanted to be awake when they do the operation so I’ll know you’re ok. I wanted to hear you cry, or maybe scream too if you like. I wanted to see you first. Do you look like me or daddy? I wanted to hold you in my arms, feel you soft baby body against mine. I wanted to hug you so tight but I can’t right? You still have to get used to have somebody touch you, you been so alone for so long inside mommy tummy, but it’s too comforting there, right? I know I’m gonna be so damn jealous of the doctor, coz he’s going to touch you first, then give you to the nurse, or luckily, if daddy didn’t faint yet, then he’ll hold you first and I’m gonna be so jealous of him. But daddy told me don’t be, coz you’ve been nestling inside me for 9 months, it’s just fair for him to hold you first. So alrighty, daddy will hold you, then give you to me. I know you’ll be too tired by then and just needed some good cuddles which I am really such an expert, you can ask daddy about it, but I’ll let you feel it, just like you letting me feel you in my arms, oh I can’t wait!

Daddy and I are having a bet, if you’ll look like him, I’ll have to buy him a new bike with a baby carrier so you and him can bike around the village. And if you’ll look like me, he’ll buy me the set of bags that I really-really like. Don’t worry, the bags is not just for mommy, it’s for you too, we will have so many stuff to carry around. We’ve already bought you 2 pairs of bags, I know it’s not really a baby bag but it’s actually much better quality. You know I wanted to buy you stuff that are really good quality because it’s for you. All the best for you baby. Anyways, I know even if I don’t win the bet, daddy will still buy me those bags coz I already saw his “To buy list” the other day, it’s included in there. Shhhh..... Don’t tell daddy, it’s our secret baby boy.

As I write this, I am imagining how you would feel like when I hold you in my arms. I already held a lot of babies in my arms before; your cousins, my friend’s sons and daughters, some babies in the community I visited..... The feeling is so great, their soft body snuggles against mine, with their angelic face that so great to look at, and those tiny feet and hands that so soft to touch.....

But I know it would be very different with you. You are mine and daddy’s little creation. Our own flesh and blood. Our mini-me. Maybe you’ll look a lot like daddy because I love your daddy so much. Or you’ll look more like me coz mommy’s genes are greater than daddy’s but no matter whom you’ll look like, you are our son, and we are so lucky to have you in our life.

Your nursery is ready for you my love. We got some baby books, let’s see which story would you like me to read to you at night over and over again. And daddy bought you a dutch language baby books too. He will read it to you coz mommy so stubborn in learning daddy’s language. Not that I don’t like it but I’m sooo not good in pronunciation. Anyway, I’ll try my best learning it with you around. Daddy wants you to learn both our language but English is gonna be your first language for now. But you know mommy. I will teach you both English and Tagalog and daddy will be surprise you understand 3 languages before your 2 two front teeth show up.

Let’s get back to reading books. As you lean on me while I prepare your favorite book, your cute little head will be resting on my breast, yes, breast, daddy said, it should be chest coz I’m talking to you but I told him, you’ll be resting your head against my breast so you have to know what it is called right? Or maybe we will create a new word for it so daddy won’t be blushing when hears you say the word breast.

I will smell your baby shampoo on your soft hair, I wonder what will be the color of your hair? Daddy’s a blondie when he was your age, my mom said I got brown hair, so maybe you’ll be a dark blond baby? You like that huh? I felt that little kick, mommy’s talking while writing coz I know you’re listening and laughing at the same time. Anyways, I know you’ll be fascinated with the drawings and the colors at first, not minding the words I say as I narrate the story to you but I’m gonna be so distracted watching your eyes move from one direction to the other, yes, I’m already memorizing some of the story from the book coz I wanted to watch you while I tell you the story. I wanted to see your facial expression, daddy said, I should read you books in front of a mirror but I don’t need a mirror, I already have you in my arms and I can see you better.

Your thick eyelashes will be hooding your eyes, we both have thick eyeslashes but daddy’s has the pretties, I told him if he’s a girl, he won’t be needing mascara. I wonder again what your eye color would be, both daddy and me has dark brown eyes, although daddy have those beautiful golden brown irises. Or maybe you’ll have your Oma’s light blue eyes? Or Tito Adam’s grey ones? Anyway, whichever, I hope you’ll have a good eyesight coz both daddy and me needs to wear glasses, we’re both near-sighted, although mommy’s to stubborn to wear glasses, but I should really start wearing one soon, don’t you think? Nah? I will look weird? Are you saying that daddy looks weird? Shhhh..... yeah, mommy will keep your secret. Oh I love you my baby!

You’re trying to distracting mommy but let’s continue. I know your eyes will be too busy looking at the pictures, wondering about the drawing and why there were a lot of colors on them. You’ll be smiling when you like them and smirking or pouting if you don’t, then laughing when you heard mommy make a weird sound and then waiting for mommy to turn the next page. When you’re a little bit older and you already memorized all the photos and pages, you’ll be concentrating on my narration and I’ll watch you again, how you will react. ‘Coz babies has the tendency to react the same way when they read their favorite books or watch their favorite movie again and again, as if they are always anticipating for the next thing to happen even if they have read or seen it a hundred times already. I saw that with your cousins. I remember your Kuya Karlo when he was 2 years old, he always like me to read him the Lion King story, I know already which scene he would cry or laugh so just to tease him, I’ll make up another story and he will complained that’s not how the story goes, so I’ll get back to the old story and watch his reaction, although I’ve seen it so many times, just like him, I get the same feeling over and over again, pure happiness just watching him reacts to the story, he’s so bright little boy. I know you’ll be like him. He already completed the Wimpy Kid books, he said he will read it to you soon and lend it to you when you’re a bit older.

After a good story, I know you’ll be asking for your regular milk. I hope mommy will have a ‘milk production’ coz I wanted you fully nourished with mommy’s milk until you are a year older. You are my first baby, and mommy’s a little bit excited. How it would feel like nursing a baby..... Oh, don’t ask me about nursing your daddy you naughty little one! I know you’re laughing in there, huh!

As I put in your sleeping crib, yes and daddy and me agreed to put you in a sleeping crib, not that we don’t want you sleeping with us but we want you to sleep peacefully. We don’t want to disturb you with our twist and turn while daddy and me sleeps but don’t worry, we bought you a co-sleeper baby crib that can be attached to our bed. It’s like we are sleeping together but you’ll have you own little space and mommy just love it coz its better a lot than a baby crib, (which you have one to, but that will stay on your nursery so you’ll have your own space in the house too) coz you’ll still be sleeping next to me, I can see and touch you easily. I’m a light sleeper so mommy will wake up in a flash when I heard you moved at night. And daddy promised to take his turn taking you to bed at night especially on weekends and holidays.

I know mommy’s pretty bad in dreaming about a baby girl when we found out that I am pregnant with you. I guess most mommy want their minime’s just like daddy’s wanted to have theirs too. Baby girls are such a darling but baby boys are always mommy’s best bud and bodyguard. And I love you more for that, I couldn't ask for anyone else than you. I love you from the start not knowing whom you'll become. You're always keeping me on the go. You're not a complainer, you just love the adventure and you really keep up with mommy. Even if you're so hyper and so active that sometimes you put mommy up all night, you're just the best baby any mommy could wish for. And I am so grateful to God he gave me you.

I knew it before we even gone to the OB and found out your true gender that you are a little boy coz you’re a strong little one, you’ve been so strong for mommy, did you know that? Mommy had a bad days when I had experienced that stupid back pain, oh, sorry about that, but I'm just telling the truth, hehehe. Yes, you've been so good with mommy during those time, I am so happy. 

And did you know that you have flown 40 flights with mommy since the day you were conceived? Yes baby, you’re a “fetus jet-setter” until your 5th month and our last flight was coming here, in daddy’s homeland. 

Mommy misses her job and everything but the happiness of being with you and daddy is all I’ve been dreaming of since the day I fell in love with daddy 5 years ago. Yes, one day I will get back to work, but work is just work, you and daddy will be my number one priority. 

You and daddy are my life now. I know there will be a baby brother or sister for you in the future but for now you are the only one we have and we could think about. Our TOP PRIORITY, our BIG BOSS!

I always think about you inside me, how are you doing in there, are you crying or laughing? Are you sleeping and dreaming? Sometimes when you didn’t move too much, I worried too much too, but daddy said you’ll just resting and taking sometime growing and you need a lot of rest. Yes I know you needed that. There’s more for you when you showed yourself into mommy and daddy’s world sometime soon. I don’t know what the future will be before us, especially for you, but I just want you to live the life that you want, just like what me and daddy has.

You’ll become a man with great dreams and goals someday. There will be hardships and trials. There will be challenges, heartaches, failures and pain. But there will also be happiness, love, inspiration and success..... those will only guide you to become a man. A man with his own family someday, oh, I hope you will find the right girl for you but not too soon huh. You need to study and finish school, and then find a good job that you want, or maybe take over daddy’s business, how about that, or maybe you'll like mommy's work but just an advice, it's only good for single men and women coz it will take a lot of your time and energy, yes you would become a "superhero" in someone else's eyes but what about to your wife and kids, will they know you if you're always away from them? But in any way, whichever path you would like to follow, I want you to become a man that his parents, brother/sister, wife and children that will be proud of. You don’t need to compete with the others, though, you just have to be yourself. And someday soon, you’ll will be visiting your old mother and father in their old house, yaiks, yes, it’s us, I’m not afraid of getting old (and daddy too) coz I know everyone has to experience that but I just hope you’ll never change, you’ll be the same little man that nestled inside me for 9 months. The one that keeps mommy and daddy stronger, and made us a better persons than before. The one that teaches mommy and daddy to become more patience, sweet, loving and caring. The one that will always stay inside mommy and daddy's heart. But it will be in 25-30 years from now, not too soon, for now, you are our baby, OURS, daddy and mommy’s sweet little boy, and we can’t wait for your arrival. We can’t wait to cradle you in our arms, just having you is the best thing that ever happen to mommy and daddy. We love you so very much, more than words can say….


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